Part of my photo project Thrift Shop Hell, documenting weird and wonderful thrift store finds from the Upper Midwest.

This is the single worst item I have ever had the misfortune to see or touch.

It’s foam, or used to be. It feels like a fifty-year-old, crumbling cupcake. It sheds tiny blood-colored foam specks on everything it touches. Its nose and cheeks have fallen off. FALLEN OFF. The chip of “tooth enamel” paint missing from its mouth make me cringe in jaw-grinding sympathetic agony every time I see it.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

And now it’s in my HOUSE.

I hate this project. I hate photography. I hate thrift stores. I hate everything.